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Autor:  Tiago T.
E-mail:  não-disponível
Data:  18/OUT/2009 2:37 AM
Assunto:  wordy X concise - good short essay
 
Mensagem:  Interesting observation, Dale. I've noticed this fact before, but I've never seen this cultural difference clearly stated, like you did. I'll try to make my own writing more concise from now on.

As an exercise, I tried to rewrite Deivis' first paragraph in a more concise way:

Deivis' version:

There are countless reasons for entering a college or university. One might say that a paper-made diploma does not make much of a difference as far as the job market goes these days. However, just by virtue of having a major one can benefit tremendously in life.


My version:


People have different reasons to enter college or university. Some say paper diplomas are not a differential in the job market, but having a major can surely bring benefits to one's life.


To my Brazilian eyes, Deivis' version looks better. The vocabulary and grammar are more complex, and they show a good control of formal language. To a native speaker, which version looks better? Could you guys make comments on the different styles?

Thanks,
Tiago


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 English Made in Brazil -- English, Portuguese, & contrastive linguistics
Would this be a good short essay in your opinion?  –  Deivis  16/OUT/2009, 6:47 PM
Would this be a good short essay in your opinion?  –  pat  16/OUT/2009, 7:55 PM
Would this be a good short essay in your opinion?  –  Deivis  16/OUT/2009, 11:03 PM
Would this be a good short essay in your opinion?  –  pat  17/OUT/2009, 10:56 AM
Would this be a good short essay in your opinion?  –  MC  17/OUT/2009, 12:44 PM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  mc  17/OUT/2009, 12:49 PM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  Deivis  17/OUT/2009, 4:08 PM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  dale-cr  17/OUT/2009, 11:14 PM
 wordy X concise - good short essay  –  Tiago T.  18/OUT/2009, 2:37 AM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  pat  18/OUT/2009, 9:19 AM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  orlando  18/OUT/2009, 10:29 AM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  dale-cr  18/OUT/2009, 12:18 PM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  orlando  18/OUT/2009, 1:07 PM
wordy X concise - good short essay  –  dale=cr  18/OUT/2009, 9:11 PM

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