LINGUISTICS & CULTURE
|Data:||03/JUN/2010 6:36 PM|
Fran, there was "nothing personal" in her message. It was, as you said, a reminder that a tip would be appreciated. Waitresses often sign bills with their names, a happy-face, and the word "Thanks!" Was she being a little forward? Yes. Is she underpaid and has bills? I bet she is.
In Costa Rica, a ten per cent tip is included as part of the bill in almost every restaurant. The only exception that comes to mind is a fast food place such as MacDonald´s. On the plus side, this law provides extra money for lowly paid employees. On the negative side, I think a tip should be given for good service and be at the discreption of the customer. Sometimes service can be really bad. What then? What encourages the waiter or waitress to give good service? Good service or bad, the law guarantees them a ten percent tip.
By the way, speaking of restaurants, I was surprised to learn several years ago that in Brazil many customers feel insulted if a bill is brought to the table without the customer having requested it. In the USA, this is very common and is not insulting or offensive at all. In Brazil, it was common for waiters to pick up my money as I was counting it. This is offensive to an American. We expect the waiter to take the money when we have finished counting and hand it to him. They are small things, but they are things that can offend.
I do not expect learners to kiss my ring, bow at my feet, grovel, sing my praises, or whatever. If someone thinks he hase a problem with me, I would like a chance to know exactly what the problem is and be given a chance to explain why I had done what I had done. That is, of course, if there is an explanation for it. If I have been stupid, there is no excuse for that. I find no joy in hurting the feelings of others. There is no shame in not knowing the right answer or the right way to do something. "Ignore" comes from a Greek word meaning "not to know", and I know less about more things every day in my life. We are responsible for our feelings.
About May 31th I wrote a reply to a post written by Andre RS on May 25th. I was a little long winded, but you may want to read it when you have time.
Fran, if I have a restaurant and you do not like my food, what do you do? You don´t come back, right? If someone does not want my help, they don´t have to read my posts. How simple is that?
Forty-seven years ago I was lying in a hospital bed with eight broken bones, no kneecap, and lots of dreams that would never be fulfilled. My sister Marie gave me some advice her father-in-law had given her: There is more good than bad in the bad things that happen to us, but we have to look for it. I can dig it. Life is full of lessons, if we are humble enough to learn from them. I love the Costa Rican adage, "Mucho sabe el diablo por diablo, pero más sabe por viejo."
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