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Autor:  Dale-USA
E-mail:  dale_thomas2004@yahoo.com.br
Data:  13/AGO/2010 10:39 AM
Assunto:  Humor for Lexophiles
 
Mensagem: 

> HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES (lovers of words):

(From an English teacher friend in Perth, Australia.)

> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
>
> Police were called to a day care centre where a 3-year-old was
> resisting a rest.
>
> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's
> all right now.
>
> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
> Cumference.
>
> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
>
> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
> at large.
>
> A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
>
> A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> criminal.
>
> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.
>
> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> A will is a dead giveaway.
>
> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
> Count that votes.
>
> A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>
> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
>
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat
> miner.
>
> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum
> Blownapart
>
> You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> A calendar's days are numbered.
>
> A lot of money is tainted - 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
>
> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
> end.
>
> When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
>
> When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> Acupuncture: a jab well done.


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 English Made in Brazil -- English, Portuguese, & contrastive linguistics
 Humor for Lexophiles  –  Dale-USA  13/AGO/2010, 10:39 AM

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