LINGUISTICS & CULTURE
|Data:||28/OUT/2005 8:27 AM|
Sara: This was posted by Jose Roberto in 2003 I don't know if he remembers.
I have seen it elsewhere but found it right here on EMB (under new spelling).
It is fun reading it:
People (mainly learners of English as a second or foreign language) always feel the inconsistencies found in the relation written-spoken English, well, what if they resolved to change this characteristic of English by doing a radical spelling reform, turning English into a more consistent language? Well I particularly didn't like the aftermath... "EuroEnglish" European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also the hard 'c' will be replased with 'k'.
Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusians in the sekond year,
when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased by 'f'.
This makes words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v' (Note: Was it a German who wrote it???).
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors, be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru" Ze drem vil finali kum tru =gt; horrible, isn't it?
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