For fun I translated this text from Portuguese into English.
See if you like it.
At the bottom you will find the name of the Brazilian autor but you will probably find out before.
A fantastic woman.
She asked how he would react if one day one of her aunts, hypothetically, were to come and stay with them for a while. He answered:
-Since when is your unmarried aunt from Surupinga called Hypothetically? I know her name is Amanda. You are always going on about her.
- OK, Ok. The aunt isn’t hypothetical. It is aunt Amanda.
- Her visit is hypothetical?
- No, that isn’t it either.
- I am hypothetical.
- No. You are a man, who is very understanding and who will receive aunt Amanda as if she were your aunt too.
- You don’t like your aunt Amanda. You adore your aunt Amanda. Aunt Amanda is your idol.
- - I always thought of her as an example of a modern, active and independent woman……
- Who never left Surupinga.
- How do you mean? Aunt Amanda lives in Surupinga but she has been all over the world. She even took a course in cosmic breathing in India.
- Cosmic breathing?
- You learn how to breathe in the rhythm of the Universe, much slower and deeper than the rhythm of the Earth.
- And the rhythm of Surupinga……….
- She always goes back to Surupinga because she looks after the family’s businesses. Aunt Amanda is also a successful executive. She is a fantastic woman.
- And when will this hypothetical visit of aunt Amanda be?
They hear the doorbell ringing.
- That should be her now!
- Hold on. And where is aunt Amanda going to sleep?
- Here, on the sofa.
- On the sofa? Isn’t that a bit uncomfortable for an elderly lady?
- And who said she is an elderly lady? Aunt Amanda is not an elderly lady. She is a young woman. Beautiful. Elegant. Fantastic.
- Celinha, my darling!
- Please, come in.
- I need a man to carry this suitcase.
- Lucky you, I have one at home.
Aunt Amanda looked him over from head to toes.
- Mmm. So this is the famous…… What’s his name again?
It is Celinha who says the name because Reinaldo is paralysed. Fascinated. Dumbfounded. Finally he manages to say something.
- So this is the amandous aunt Afama? Ahnn, the famous aunt Amanda?
Aunt Amanda looks around the living room before giving her verdict with an ironic smile.
- You like it?
- One day you will remember this period in your lives and will ask yourselves :”How could we be so happy with so little? It is what the French call
« nostalgie de la privation» …
- And how is everybody doing in Surupinga?
- Nobody does anything in Surupinga, my dear. In Surupinga people just sit around.
- And what about you, aunt? Still breaking all those hearts, as always?
- You know what I think of men, Celinha. Men are only good as tin openers
or to hold the door for you.
She realizes Reinaldo’s presence and adds:
- Sorry, Roberto. You are to bring the luggage in.
- -And what about business?
- Each time better and more boring. I really needed sometime away. As Paris is rather rainy this time of year and New York has far too many Brazilians, I decided to go and visit my niece, who I haven’t seen for such a long time.
- And to get to know my husband.
- Who? Ah, yes, that also. But enough talk about me. Let’s talk about you. You were missing me enormously, were you?
Some time later, Reinaldo and Celinha are in their room:
- You said she was fantastic but you forgot a minor detail.
- Besides being fantastic, she is………. fantastic!
- You two had quite a good chat while I was cooking dinner.
- We did. We agreed that she is going to give me cosmic breathing lessons.
Celinha was pensive for a while before saying:
- I am not sure there will be enough time.
- Why is that?
- She is going early tomorrow morning.
- So soon? Why?
- The business in Surupinga. Her presence is needed.
- Did she tell you that?
- No. She doesn’t know it yet.
Celinha had come to the conclusion that sometimes people can be too fantastic.
Luis Fernando Verissimo