Mas que porcaria!

Vou dar a minha contribuição:

Alunos vão bem em prova e professor beija porco
Pupils go well on test and teacher kisses pig
... did do well...

O professor Randy Garrier, da cidade de Garden City, Estado do Kansas, nos EUA, prometeu a seus alunos da quarta série que, se eles esforçassem e conseguissem acertar mais de 80% das perguntas em um teste de matemática, beijaria um porco.

The teacher Randy Garrier, from city of Garden City, State of the Kansas, in the U.S.A., promised to his fourth grade pupils students of the fourth degree that, if they strengtove and obtained to make tried hard and managed to right scored more than 80% of the questions in a mathematics test, he would kiss a pig.

Os alunos, diante da estranha aposta, estudaram bastante e conseguiram cumprir a tarefa. Na terça-feira Garrier, usando batom vermelho, beijou o porco diante dos estudantes.

 
The students took him up on his strange bet. They studied hard and at last succeeded to fulfilled the proposed goal. On Tuesday, Garrier, complete with red lipstick, kissed the pig right before the students.

The pig, seeing a long surpressed passion for Garnier finally answered, passed out aroused by utter and wild excitement. It was immediately rushed to a porcine hospital where it was revived by Garnier himself applying mouth to mouth, never mind smearing his lipstick allover the pig's tender rosy lips, a life was at stake,  and was henceforth put for many month into rehabilitation.( the pig, not Garnier , who went out and dug into some spareribs with loads of ketchup to camouflage his lipstick).

It was in rehabilitation  that the pig was taught to fly and it is since then that many an American swears to have seen a flying pig. 

If you see one yourself, you probably live nearby Randy Garnier's house. It 's where the pig loves to circle in the sky following a swarm of pidgeons. If you do indeed witness it, please call CNN.

It will make a change on the evening news to see a pig flying about the Garden City , Kansas' sky, instead of that indecent daily exhibition of all those funny creatures desembarking from flying saucers lining up to be kissed by randy Randy.