I really enjoyed the websites you shared!  Very interesting and entertaining.

You used some great slang expressions in your post.  I'm adding their meanings.

eats = food (This is often heard in rural areas.)

a dash = in this context, it means "a little"  ("To dash" can mean to do something hurriedly, to run, etc.)

corny = Very difficult for me to define.  It means something like "funny in a silly, innocent, perhaps old fashioned way".

to use your noodle = to use your head, use your brain